All about Elmo

Its amazing how one family can have 10 children and all are unique and totally different in their own way. Elmo is the child that really pushes my buttons, makes me second guess myself and really is a challenge because we are so different--or so similar according to my mother.

Elmo was born prematurely and even as tiny little person in the special care nursery, one nurse dubbed her "the thinker." I hadn't thought of that in years until today when i had a very enlightening conversation with Jen, my co-worker, that I'll get to later. But she looks at things from a very logical perspective. She loves to read and write. She wrote a song last week that really seems like a window in her soul. I'll type it into here tomorrow when i'm at home.

She's so complex for a seven year old. She can be confident, outgoing, mouthy, an attention seeker and at the same time a scared little girl that is anxious, timid and totally unsure of herself. Its so difficult as a parent when you have a bright and logical booksmart child who can be overwhelmed by day-to-day experiences that other children enjoy and don't think twice about.

Today Jen was telling me about all the anxiety she experienced as a child and still feels as an adult. I guess hearing it from Jen really hits home that it is real. Its not just an attempt to be difficult, troublesome or an attention hog. Its so hard to relate when you were the complete opposite as a kid, looking back you were the little asshole that tormented the poor kid that was scared shitless to jump in the pool or ride his bike recklessly down the breakneck speeds.

We were pissed last year when went to Disney world and she was too terrified of getting on anything that moves. Looking back it obviously didn't help matters or change things except taint the trip with bad memories. I mean Disney is something we enjoy, its something all kids enjoy or at least everyone's except ours. Its like a personal failure as a parent that my kid is a scaredy cat. But that goes back to finding new ways to relate to her with things that she enjoys. Seriously though, I don't see myself at the ballet.