Anti-Feminism

I've been reading various message boards for maybe 7 years now and i swear there is very little that surprises me. There are people that are just stupid. There are people that are (or present themselves) as rich and snotty or piss poor with a chip on their shoulder and act like the world owes them. Then there are those with radical thinking that really feel that the world should follow their lead....

I can't believe that in this day and age a women (and educated one) actually believes that a woman's place is in the home and her single solitary role is nurturing the children and being subservient to her spouse. Sometimes I think the women's movement did screw us over because costs of living and quality of life really depend on having 2 incomes--for most families anyway---but at least we still have a choice.

I don't get it really. The need of some women to remain constantly barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. To never move out of the infant/toddler stage. With me, on one hand I really feel that 4 is our number of children and i probably would have always regretted not trying but at the same time it is soooo much easier now with the older 3. We don't need to pack or plan for a trip, just grab an extra diaper and depending on where we are going, the stroller and we're off. I couldn't imagine spending year after year of married life with a bulging belly.

It really reminds me of the book A Room of One's Own (1929) by Virginia Woolf. Basically a woman not having time or a physical space to herself is a detriment to her writting. That all she needs is solitude to work on herself and her talents.
We went to Black Creek Pioneer Villiage a few weeks ago and in one of the homes there was a room strictly for men, the cigar room, where men were banished to get them out of the woman's hair. So, of course, I ask the guy where was the woman's room and he looked at me kinda stupidly and said the whole house was the woman's room. Really not a great trade off in my opinion since her space is shared with the entire household...yet still her responsibility to take care of and keep clean.

Sometimes I wish i had a place of my own. To do my crafts, to read, to just sit and watch the paint crack without little hands in everything. There really feels like there is nothing that is solely mine and realistically I have zero time to myself....

Anyway back to the regular scheduled rant. I can't believe that any woman would want to bring women back to the dark ages when they were solely dependant on her husband. I can't imagine living that way now. I mean, i spent $375 on kids' clothes a couple days ago. I'd hate to hold out my hand and ask like a child. That's fine for people that don't mind it, but i could never be dependant...ever!

Everyone thinks I'm nuts!

Guess what i did last Wednesday???!?! I actually piled the 3 Lil Monsters into the van along with the double stroller and off I went to Square One! I went to Gymboree, Old Navy, The Children's Place and Wal-mart and got almost everything I need for back to school/ winter clothing. Everyone said I'm nuts going alone at 9 months pregnant but ya know what, the kids were better for me alone than they ever are when Mike goes shopping with us. And now that i've redeemed my gymbucks and gotten the girls' first day of school outfits, I'm all clear to go into labour.

Funny, I never realized how expensive kids are until now. I'm a bargain shopper and usually get good deals, but even buying some stuff on clearance, it is rediculously expensive to outfit 4 kids that are constantly growing and outgrowing things. Mike's seriously anal too. "If i see any of those clothes on the floor they are going back!!!" Yeah, like they have any concept of how much things cost or the difference between Gymboree, TCP or Wal-martz clothes.

He's Stubborn Already!

I start having labor pains at 34 weeks...I'm thinking for sure this little guy will be making his way into the world already. No such luck! Even falling down the stairs didn't loosen him. So today I've made it to my last day at work and then i'm still not due for another 2 weeks! Hmm, Karin said 5 days early, Ang said 2...we'll see who is right!

Call me Ms. Fix it

Why, oh why does everything need to fall apart when i'm 9 months pregnant and ready to pop? Seriously, the lock on my front door is screwed, can't get the damn key in the door. I'm worried its going to snap and we'll be locked out. So instead of doing something fun, tomorrow i gotta run to Lowe's with the lunatics and get a lock.... Funny, i told mike and says its best that i go cuz i know what i'm looking for!

Going Shopping!!

Gymbucks redemption period!! Off to get back to school clothes.
http://www.gymboree.com/shop/dept_category.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306238486&bmUID=1216564161327

I'm in love with the French "Petite Madmoiselle" line and Children's Place has a couple things on sale that i want.

Maybe i'll even go get groceries on the way!

Can't seem to get over the need to spend. Yes its a need. Maybe a strange sort of nesting instinct. I've already gotten 18 Christmas presents and only spent $125. I'm also compulsively planning my home reno to do list. Somehow homeschooling has fallen by the wayside. Oh well. I swear i need 36 hours in a day.

AND......

3 more weeks til baby is due!!

madness at 9 months prego

Guess what i did at 9 months prego. PLUMBING! Had to replace my mother's leaking kitchen faucet. What a fucking disaster...the valves to shut off the water in the house don't work completely so water leaked and ended up going thru the ceiling in the basement. There was no hole in the sink that was predrilled...just a crudely made one that my father must have put in. After a couple trips to the store, nearly sweating to death in my mother's swealtering house and mike using a file to make the hole bigger, the faucet was in. Nothing like seening a 8 month prego woman crawling under the sink.

Still no baby

After insane contractions i was positive that this kid would make a beeline into this world. Walking, contractions, mike panic....and they stop until...

Monday, July 14, the first thing i do when i wake up in the morning is fall down the stairs. Not many, only about 5, land on my ass, gush a little something that turned out to be pee. So shaking like a leaf i go back to bed---i got up to put the latch on the door so Sean wouldn't open the door looking for mike and let the dog out.

I go back to bed and my back is killing..maybe an hour later i get shooting pains up my back but i figure its just from the fall. Mike comes home early, around 12:30 to check on my poor self. I'm laying on the couch looking like death, feeling all kinds of contractions. As reasonable as any man might be, mike suggests we go for a walk. I'm contracting anyway and if its time i might as well help the baby out quicker. Contractions are 6 minutes apart so we figure we'll pack up and head to the hospital.

We drop the kids off at ma's who's in tears. She's thinking the baby will fall out on the way and die or i'll die...whatever...in her mind having a baby is somehow equivalent to a terminal illness. We walk some more and head to L & D...

Must have been a full moon cuz L&D is swamped. I get in and get hooked up to the monitors. Contracting about 3-4 times in 10 minutes....sitting around for 3.5 hours in pain...no doctor to see me because she delivered 3 babies during this time. Finally comes to see me and checks...1 cm dialated, long, firm and baby still high. WTF?!?!??!?!? So i seriously spent 1 week in pain and this kid is firmly planted in there with no sign of budging!!!! Oh, i leave the hospital and am still contracting for the next 2 hours and then they just STOP!

I have an appointment with Dr. Addison the next day. Baby is measuring about 6-6.5 pounds. He's joking that it'll probably be late...... I'm thinking screw this..i'm making it to my last day at work...right now i got 6 shifts left...had hardly any contractions since i left the hospital!

The Simple Life

Its amazing how as parents we think are kids *need* so much more. They need trips to big, overadvertised places. They need expensive toys and gadgets. They need to be kept constantly busy and entertained. BUT...in reality they are soo much happier with the simple things in life.

Sunday night we took kids and puppy to Chinghousy Park. They ran around on the kids playground. Sean made friends with a little boy that was maybe a bit older. Adrienne just ran and ran like a chicken with her head cut off. Emily ran after her sister because we told them to stay together. After Adrienne pulled a Houdini and disappeared, we took them for a walk in the gardens and around the whole park back to the van. We went to get ice-cream at Dairy Queen but when we got there the line up was out the door and around the building! So we got them McDonald sundaes instead and for a few bucks they were all quite content!

Monday I worked, we didn't do anything but I called in sick on Tuesday and we went to Vaughan Mills and shopped. Mike pissed me off from the get go because he got tantruming Sean one of those huge firetruck strollers for $7. What a waste considering we did have our stroller with us and Sean was shit fitting to get out about 15 minutes later. We did get Brittany's birthday gifts, 3 pairs of PJ's on clearance at the Disney store for $22 and 2 jeans and 2 shirts for the girls at TCP for only $26! I love a deal!! However, i was ready to die halfway thru the mall. My toes kept cramping, i had contractions and my back was killing. I have never been happier to find the van and sit down!! We passed by Sam's Club and i sooooo wanted to go shopping but we didn't.

Wednesday i had to work but we figured we'd take the kids somewhere so we decided on the library. I made homemade chocolate chip muffins for breakfast first, mike got the kids bathed and off we went. The girls were so proud and grown up talking to the librarian to get their library cards. Emily got 3 chapter books and Adrienne got 3 picture books and i got one for Sean. We get back to the van and realize, we'd been gone for 2.5 hours! Sweet...and FREE, lol!! So Emily is "rationing" her reading because the books aren't due until July 30 then i told her we can go back before then if she's doneher books! It was great because i read a story to the kids while in the car waiting for mike to pick up a few things at the grocery store. Sean kept repeating what i was reading! Definately will try the homeschool thing with the littles...

So next on the agenda: Thursday (tomorrow) is my next Dr. appt. Thank god! I bet he'll tell me i'm starting to dialate and this baby will be here soon! Then we will be taking the kids to the drive-in to see Kung-Fu Panda! They are super excited about that!

Friday we plan to go to Black Creek Pioneer Villiage...inexpensive and not that far away and not too much walking. The weekend is up in the air...maybe swimming/picnic....

Gotta blow some money--Homeschooling

Its July 7th already and the kids have been off school for almost 2 weeks and we've done NOTHING!

Okay, maybe not totally nothing, we did go to the Zoo and ching park and bike riding and swimming at the in-laws and the girls did get to spend quite a few days at Nannie's. But i feel like i've done nothing with them. I hate it. I feel so sorry for myself because by the time i get the cooking, cleaning, baking, laundry done, I'm exhausted. I can't walk because my back hurts, my feet/legs swell and i can't breathe.

Sooo I need to get organized. I need to "schedule" activities and stuff to do with the kids as well as learning. I'm thinking i'm going to do some shopping. Workbooks for Emily since teacher said she should practiced her math. Plus i ask emily if there's anywhere she wants to go for the summer and she say, "Can we go to Chapters?" Seriously, I think i'll get her her own library card.

I gotta start reading "Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons" I bought it but let it sit on the counter for months. Adrienne is excited and keeps asking when she'll learn to read. Sean is starting to want to colour and look at books with his sisters. His speech is vastly improving and he really needs any kind of positive distraction from Mario.

Off to research and plan!

The To-Do List....

Boy does this thing always grow. I'm down to crunch time with only 5 weeks left until baby. I am nearing the finish of his Christmas stocking...at least the main stitching, still have outlining and his name to do which i'm saving until the end when he's here and has his name.

I have to get my homeschooling organized. Adrienne didn't do to well on her reading on her report card so its time to get my butt in gear and get her at least where she should be by the time school starts in september.

Scrapbooking--who am i kidding! I've added at least 400 more pictures to the memory stick and haven't scrapped a darn page in months...

I really need a schedule. I guess that'll be hard to do until the baby arrives and is somewhat more predictable.

Now onto Home Renovations: I plan to sand and repaint the kitchen cabinets after dylan arrives, paint ceiling, walls and add the Florida lighting. At some point we will have a backsplash put it in, a new faucet and new appliances--stainless steel preferably but most likely white because its so much cheaper.

Living room: needs new flooring--God between the kids and dog the carpet is absolutely repulsive. Want to get rid of the tv cabinet and get one of those thin tv's.

Basement: Finishing it would be nice! I fully expected us to be debt free months ago and have money left over from the tax return to get the deck done out back BUT, tax money is not here yet but all of it is for debt. Deck won't be done this year so chances are basement will not be done next year Unless

Disney: we skip Disney next year. I want to go for my birthday!! Sean will be nearly 4, the girls will be older and more mature and Dylan will not be mobile yet so i think its a perfect time! Again, money...

I think the first thing on my list is to get a winning lottery ticket!!

Shopping

Here's a mental note to self...DO NOT GO SHOPPING WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY!! I go in with my trusty list and at the most $50 worth of stuff. I walk out with $133 of crap! Here's the real catch...wet dog food $9.99, dry dog food $14.99, the love of my puppy...Priceless, LOL!

5 More Weeks until Baby is Here!

I'm so freaking uncomfortable! Last night i went to bed at 7pm and slept til 5:15 when the alarm went off for the second time. It was heaven! I kicked Mike and the kids out to go bike riding, then they came back to watch at movie. My little boy came to tuck me in and kiss me good night.

As strange as it sounds, I can't wait for labour. It was a huge fear since the beginning but now i welcome it because i know that the pain will only last a few hours and I'll never have to do it again! At least i think.... Why do i keep dreaming about a 5th? WTF is wrong with me, i haven't even had the fourth yet!

Everything's getting on my NERVES!

Oh who the hell has a baby in the summer?!?~? I'm exhausted and uncomfortable and everything hurts.
Kids annoy me...they (Adrienne) won't shut up. Sean wakes up too early. Mike is generally useless. My mother is a worry-wart crackpot that acts like i'm on life support, not pregnant.

So needless to say, everything gets on my nerves!

Mike's taking a week off of work. He's planning all this stuff to do. Algonquin park...canada's wonderland....center island. Hope he'll rent me my own stroller cuz there's no freaking way. Algonquin i'll go into labour and get stuck delivering among bears. Wonderland will be a waste of money if i can barely walk after a couple hours.... I feel soo useless....

The benefits of Marriage??

Seriously, are there any because i have yet to find them?

He just doesn't fucking get it, at all! I'm pissed. I'm pissed at the whole spending money bullshit. I'm sick of the second class citizen treatment of telling me shit after the fact. I'm pissed at the complete fucking inequality and slavery in the house. I'm pissed at the lip service of shared ideas or goals that are alway agreed on but never happen, I'm just plain old fucking pissed. What happened this time?

Someone is planning a weekend baseball and invited 38 people I believe. Guess how i found out? I got a fucking invitation on facebook. A goddamn fucking invitation to my own fucking house on facebook!!!!!! So at 36 weeks or 9 months pregnant, king asshole is inviting 38 fucking people-excuse me 37 fucking people since i was one of the invitees--to my house...okay he'll argue about it technically being at the baseball diamond across the street but whose going to be stuck watching the kids? Whose going to be chasing Sean and preventing him from running into the road and getting hit by a car or running onto the field and getting hit in the head by a bat? Or keeping an eye on the girls? And I wouldn't have had a problem with the whole thing at all if he would actually speak to me ahead of time. Fuck him. Bastard acts like he's still single he might get more than what he bargained for.